Basically fuck you

fuck my life. i think that we were better as just friend... yea ok thats girl code for im really unattracted to you and dont really want to be associated as your "girlfriend" so im breaking up with you. well i nod and dont listen to a word you say after that and well im about to yell soooo loud i mean what the hell did i do!. i guess i just repulse girl, i dont know. im nice kinda badass because most girls hate "the nice guy" but she was my first gf and im 16 what the hell. rejection is all to familiar. . . but you always still want to be "friends" well look at the title. . .

:)

things are looking up i guess other than the loneliness which has kinda been fixed with ashley and i think its mostly because i work so much i can just ignore my "family" and the dumb things they do. . but i guess i'll just have to have a big house party this weekend since im gonna be all alone. JK. . . or am i ?!?. . .

Things happen

im pissed my mother just so happend to decide to tell me that we are going to South Dakota to see my sister only 6 days before the trip.! that means that my schedule for work is already up and the only days i work are the days that they will be gone, and trust me ive tried and no one wants to trade hours with me. . .

CRASH

i lost it lost control, driving tired is a bad idea but it was a necessity. long night of work leave at 12:30 and then boom, crash, slide, skid, i scream i check im fine i think, maybe not mentally but physically i seem to be ok and i imagine the look of my car but not the look of the newly crashed into wall that is pure concrete and im positive is fine, i sit, thoughts race, darkness, headlights, "are you ok!!!" , no!.. well yes im fine, back out bumpers fucked but drivable. turning corners to fast was a bad idea . . .

great

shes ashley shes beautiful... familys a little weird but i can cope... shes fun to be around and shes my girlfriend.

1st?

i dont know about her or this so called relationship we've started i kinda like her and ive herd and got hints that she likes me. we went to a movie today and i got kinda confused on what to do i dont know if she wanteed it to be a freind date or a date date so i kept my hands to myself but make comments such as date date quallity. i hope things work out. . .

Lonely

im so lonely. i go to school were i find my self asking any and everyone in my classes if they need a ride home just so i can have that extra 5 min not by myself. i come home (alone) get dressed and leave for work were other that the constant yelling back and forth of me and the cook of orders so that i can fry whats needed to be fried to make these rude god damned people undeserving of food even though they paid for it happy, im all alone. i clean alone and drive all the way across town alone and come into the house at 11:00 and am alone until the morning when i ask my parents for $ for both lunch and dinner and they bitch and bitch wile i just stand there, not listening because i know im gonna get what i want, just a warm meal, and leave alone to school, yea i see my friends but i feel lost in a crowd. then someone hits the restart button. . .